Meaningful Mommy

Making Moments Meaningful site

The gift of gab…

on June 19, 2014

Texting, Facebook messaging, commenting on blog posts and replying to blog comments. These are how I communicate with people I don’t see, either ones I know well, friends and family and some I don’t know very well or I’ve never met in person.

It’s hard to know how my responses are being taken by people I’ve never met on the other end of a blog comment. They don’t know me, my sense of humor or how literally I take things. They don’t know about my inability to read between the lines or understand a backhanded joke. I am terrible at ‘getting’ the humor hidden in sarcasm and I usually take people’s written words at face value. I think that’s why I am not annoyed to see a lot of smiley, and winky faces. These really help me!

I communicate with people I do know well this way too, texting and Facebook messaging, and sometimes the almost outdated email. I am often confused and I am confusing. Short messages are not my thing. I need details and there are always questions. But how much should I type? How many questions should I ask? It’s very complicated. I am awkward.

I was made to talk. I talk a lot. If something can be said in 5 words I will use 50. If it would take 50 I will use 5,000…I will tell you something adding detail after detail until I am sure you understand what I’m getting at. Paining a very vivid picture…If I feel I am being misunderstood I will explain…and explain…and explain. 🙂 It’s a gift and a curse. Sometimes a good story is called for. Other times it’s just obnoxious. I usually don’t know which time is which.

I often should stop but can’t. Words keep pouring out of my mouth when my foot that’s in there should be blocking them. I have pretty big feet but most times not big enough. I get flustered and I talk, embarrassed, yep still talking, I’m angry I talk even more hoping the words will dissipate the feeling and the situation. Often doing the opposite fueling the fire.

I try to fix people’s problems by talking them out, brainstorming ideas. Most times I should just be listening. But silence scares me. I draw on people’s feelings and if I am talking I don’t have to sit and feel those feelings with them. I probably should. It would be good for me and better for them. I work though my problems by talking them through. If they stay in my head they just spin around and around. I need those words to draw the trouble out so I can look at it at face value. Most things seem more reasonable when they are out in the open.

Some people like the chattering. Others not so much. Funny thing is I get that. I love the quiet. When I am alone. When I’m with others I want to know what they have to say. Not silence. I want to engage in actual conversation. The friendly banter back and forth, a relationship forming with every word.

So back to the typing communication forms whether texts, email, Facebook messages, blog comments, replies…The snippets aren’t enough for me. I want to ask questions. Reply and then wait, and reply again. I want to ‘splain (as my friend calls my excessive explanations) and I want to know more. I want the rest of the story.

But here’s the thing. Since having my daughters I can’t make a phone call. The minute they hear me talking to someone other than them they lose it! Like screaming, hanging on my leg lose it. I call the doctor to make a well-child visit, my kids are screaming so loudly the receptionist asks if I need to go help them. When I say they are fine, I’m asked if I’m sure. The minute I hang up the screaming stops. Why?!!

I get why moms text each other…we can’t call. There is no way we would be able to have any sort of a conversation. My problem is I want to text like I talk. Using lots of words. Lots and lots of words. I want to write multiple paragraphs. I want complete answers to my questions. I want details. I want to talk to someone.

So I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to cut my messages short. Learning how to be to the point. Only asking what needs to be asked with out any extra. It always sounds so cold, void of feeling when I read my shortened replies. It shouldn’t right? That’s just me and my perception? I try to not read into the short replies as annoyance. Maybe it is. Could be if I’ve written a short novel by text. But what can I say, I also really like to read….the more words the better! 😉

3 responses to “The gift of gab…

  1. My husband always asks, “Why don’t you just call her?” when I’m texting another mom-friend about something; while I do very much enjoy talking to my grown-up friends, sadly it’s just easier with the kids to skip the “Hey! How’s your day going over there?” and get straight to the point. I definitely look forward to catching up and gabbing away when the planets align and we’re all able to get out for a night sans kids!

    The smiley and winky faces – I use them, too! Quite often. You’re right, you never know how the person on the other end of a text, Facebook message, blog comment or email is going to receive your response; I’m not sure if the faces help or annoy the reader, but they make me smile 🙂 😀 😉

  2. […] written about My Gift (or curse) of Gab. I like to talk. I talk a lot. When I actually listen to myself I hear how many words I use when […]

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