I’ve seen many stories about being present and what that really means to different people. It’s what I felt I was struggling with and why I started this blog. The name meaningful mommy didn’t come from me thinking I’m all that…far from it! It came from me wanting to be a more meaningful mommy. I felt I was sort of sashaying through my role. Enjoying it, loving my girls, but not being as intentional, present and meaningful as I could be. I felt at times I was just going through the motions instead of actually taking time to soak in the experience.
I don’t think we as moms mean to be less present. I think (for me at least) it stems from thinking I needed to do more in a day. That my worth as a mother was measured by my daily accomplishments. What amazing activities we did, places we explored, the chores I got done, how clean my house was. Whether I had my hair done or my nails or my status updated….I was pre-occupied with doing it all, that I was never really allowing myself to soak in any experience. Never being able to be really present in the moment, because the moments were happening at such a rapid pace it was impossible. I was focusing on too much.
That’s when I decided to work on becoming a more meaningful mommy. I started writing to organize my thoughts and to process my goals. Stopping each evening to take stock of my day, my family and myself. Stopping to take time to think and breathe. I don’t check my phone, I don’t surf Facebook. I slow down, I listen to my daughters even breathing while they sleep. I relax and I write. For me and for them. We have once again slowed down to a pace perfect for us. My girls, like me, need time to really get the most out of an activity or experience. Choosing to focus on one thing at a time.
Here are some of the ways I have adjusted my view of what’s important to us:
How we’ve slowed down:
1. Do less but do it more completely.
2. Take the time to sit together for breakfast at the table.
3. Ask my girls what if they want to do (I’m surprised by how often they want to stay home).
4. Choose only one major activity a week.
5. Say No without feeling bad. It’s no fun anyway when you feel to busy.
6. Leave my phone in my purse while we’re out and on the kitchen counter when home (unless I really need to take a picture)That was I’m not tempted to multi-task.
7. Make home time just as important if not more than being out and about.
8. Read daily. Sit together, reading to ourselves and to each other.
9. Let the girls just play. Undirected by me, non-planned activities, just play.
10.Over estimate how long it will take to do everything (from getting shoes on and getting into the car to how long we’ll be at the beach).
I have found we are all happier and more relaxed. Less frustration all around. 🙂
Amazing how much time there is in a day when you actually slow down to enjoy it!!