May 1– May Day : Build a may pole and do some ribbon weaving dances or make flower baskets and ding-dong ditch them on your neighbors porches, both exciting. Also Save the Rhino Day: Rhino’s are being hunted into extinction. Be aware, support rhino conservation efforts, in the least just don’t buy anything made of Rhino.
May 2– International Tuba Day :Respect for the tuba. If you have one get out there and play. Enjoy it! It’s also Baby Day, same thing applies. If you have one, get out there and play. Enjoy it!
May 3– Lumpy Rug Day: WTF, I have no idea. But it makes me smile. Just say ‘lumpy rug’. You’re totally smiling . And World Press Freedom Day: This one I like, created by the United Nations it celebrates what journalists have sacrificed for freedom of press and expression.
May 4– Star Wars Day: Because of the quote “May the force (fourth) be with you”. I know…just let it go. Also Renewal Day, a day to start over. You may need this on the same day if you put on your Darth Vader mask and went around town saying “Luke, I am your Father”. We all need a do-over.
May 5– Cinco de Mayo: Celebrate Spanish or Mexican heritage or celebrate Oyster Day. Here in Seattle , known as The Oyster Capitol of the World, this is huge. No, actually I’ve never heard of it. You cannot believe what you read on the internet!
May 6– National Nurses, Teachers & Tourist Appreciation Day: hmm…Nurses and teachers grouped together, I get it. Both noble, selfless, helper professions. But Tourist appreciation grouped in there. I don’t see the connection. Also No Diet Day, Great thanks.
May 7– School Nurses Day, because they need their own day away from nurses and teachers appreciation day. Duh….
May 8– No Sock Day, ok, here’s your chance, be daring, risky, go sockless. I dare you. While you are free toeing it recognize National Red Cross Day by acknowledging all their humanitarian and disaster relief efforts all over the world. Seriously awesome!
May 9- Lost Sock Memorial Day, celebrated because there you were being reckless the day before on No Sock Day and lost them. Way to take it too far dumbass. Go find your sock.
May 10– Clean Up Your Room Day: because one day a year is enough. & Birth Mothers Day, also started in Seattle, we must like to celebrate, this day is for woman to acknowledge that they gave birth to a child and made the hard choice to give it up for adoption. Yes, absolutely, celebrate your brave choice.
May 11– Mother’s Day, ah, celebrate all the mothers in your life! And celebrate Eat What You Want Day, ok mom’s you may not have this choice really because if you aren’t cooking today you my be forced to eat someone else’s food fare. If you are a mother who gets taken to brunch, do it! Eat what you want. Not what your kids will eat off your plate, not what your breast feeding baby wont react to. Eat whatever you f’ing want! Woohoo!! & Twilight Zone Day, aka Mother’s Day.
May 12– Fatigue syndrome Day & Limerick Day: I combined these for you.
A Fatigue Syndrome Limerick by Megan
A woman was excessively tired.
Her kids were energetically wired.
She really wanted her bed,
But she got meds instead,
and a kid wrangling nanny was hired.
In all seriousness, this condition is very real. If you or a loved one has his or any of the other chronic pain diseases, support them and find support.
May 13– Frog Jumping Day it goes back to Mark Twains story “Jim Smiley and His Jumping Frog” . I’ll let you hop to it. & Leprechaun Day, why?because they didn’t get enough notoriety on St. Patrick’s Day. Greedy little buggers.
May 14– Dance Like a Chicken Day, oh you know you have the tune stuck in your head…be extra cool and go do it on roller skates. & National Receptionist Day, this is to appreciate receptionists only. Not secretaries or administrative professionally. Specifically receptionists. The others have their own days. Do something nice for the receptionist in your life. Or at least be polite and smile at any you come across today.
May 15– National Chocolate Chip Day, throw choc chips by the handful into your mouth & Police Officer’s Memorial Day, throw choc chips at the police like confetti. Ok, so don’t do that. But do take a moment to remember the officers who lost their lives while on duty.
May 16– National Bike to Work Day, this one is pretty self-explanatory. If you don’t have a bike hitch a ride on some handlebars. And of course honor National Sea Monkey Day. Why? Because its all about the Sea Monkey these days.
May 17–Armed Forces Day, say a thank you to all he men and woman who serve our country & Pack Rat Day, sweet. Today, pet all your stuff. In the attic and the basement. Sounds like a good time, doesn’t it. Better yet, go holiday rogue and get rid of it all!
May 18– International Museum Day & No Dirty Dishes Day. Go on a local field trip to the nearest museum. Grab street vendor food and eat on the museum steps in honor of No Dirty Dishes Day. Oh heck, since you’re there already, go on in. It will be fun.
May 19– Boy’s Club Day, let’s call it Boys & Girl’s club day since it is to honor the importance of these groups in our community.
May 20– Be a Millionaire Day & Pick Strawberries Day. These obviously go hand in hand. Make the connection.
May 21– National Memo Day & National Waiters and Waitresses Day. Put that post -it note pad in your pocket and get ready to take some memos today. You ready? Memo: tip a waiter or waitress extra today. It sucks. Give them a couple extra dollars. It won’t make or break ya.
May 22– Buy a Musical Instrument Day, I recommend craigslist. Lots of free pianos.
May 23– Lucky Penny Day. Take your penny jar and go Hansel & Gretel around your neighborhood leaving a lucky penny trail. The neighborhood kids will love it. Just don’t start at your front door or they will be waiting on your porch. you could do this at work. Equally fun.
May 24– International Jazz Day & National Escargot Day. Listen to jazz and eat some snails. Done deal. Very ‘upper crust’.
May 25– National Missing Children’s Day , this one is important. Make sure you teach your children safety awareness. Create a ‘code word’ with your child that only safe people you know are privy to. Be involved. Report any suspicious activity. Its better to be wrong than wishing you’d said something.
May 26– Memorial Day is a great day to see a parade and to remember loved ones who have passed away in any way that helps you feel comfort. Sally Ride Day honoring the first American woman to go into space. I’m personally going to blast Ride, Sally Ride by Lou Reed.
May 27– Sun Screen Day. Really you should wear sunscreen everyday. But take today and check the dates on your sunscreen in preparation for summer (if you live somewhere that it is a different season requiring sunscreen). If you are lucky enough to live in a sunny all the time location, then just check to make sure your sunscreen isn’t expired. Lucky dog!
May 28– Amnesty International Day. Recognize the need to protect human rights around the world. Yes, we are all in this together.
May 29– Learn About Composting Day. I actually have been meaning to start composting. Guess today will be the day!
May 30– Water a Flower Day. Any flower I guess. I say, go to the 50-75% off rack at the plant store and find the thirstiest plant there. Water that one.
May 31– Save Your Hearing Day and World No Tobacco Day. Save your hearing, don’t smoke. Wait…save your lungs, don’t smoke. I guess don’t smoke at concerts and wear ear plugs to cover both of these. But really if you smoke, now would be a good day to get some support and kick that shit to the curb. Think of the $ you’ll save!!
Horray for May. Let’s get this party started. Have a great month!!