“Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell a story but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.” [Thoughts from Places: The Tour, Nerdfighteria Wiki, January 17,2012] ~John Green
I read this article (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html) in the HuffPost parenting section after someone posted it on FB and it ended up in my news feed. I read it and thought, oh that is SO me! OMG! Am I really an introvert?? The signs from my past all point to yes, but it was like this woman in the article, not made completely apparent until I had my children.
I was always able to have quiet time, down time, unwind me time, thinking time pre-kids. And I know I took advantage of it often. I read, napped, wandered, daydreamed and felt a-ok about it. I was quiet at school and social at night, but then again I was able to recharge during my quiet studious days. My husband works long hours so I came home from work and often had a couple of hours to unwind, think about and shop for dinner fixings, and read. Daily.
Then I had kids. Thankfully I was able to quit my teaching job and stay home with them. Trading 30 third graders in for a baby (and then my second daughter 2 yrs later) sounded like a great hand-off. But, I had NO idea how busy I would be as a parent. Good busy, but also CRAZY busy. I joined mommy & me groups, play groups, mommy meet ups and went to and had play dates. I was exhausted on top of exhausted. But I thought in order to be a good mom I NEEDED to do all these things. The more experiences the better, right?
Wrong. I was nervous all the time, anxiety was a norm. Being so overwhelmed by the end of the day I thought maybe parenting was not for me. I began attending less activities, hanging out with smaller groups and guess what? I began to feel better. I had one mom with kids over at a time instead of 6 (+kids) and I was happy, having meaningful mommy talks about anything and everything. No chit-chat, no hostess playing. Just mom time. But still I didn’t EVER think about the fact that it could have something to do with my personality. Then the other day the huffpost article ’23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert’ practically screamed at me, “This is you!!” and a new journey began.
I have two books in hand, thank you Amazon Prime. The Introvert’s Way, Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World, by Sophia Dembling and Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. The verdict is still out on whether I am really a TRUE introvert or just an over tired mom pushed into introvertism (yes, it’s a word) by the demanding (but rewarding) job of raising kids in todays age of high expectations. I have some reading, research and thinking to do. I’m actually kind of excited. I love this kind of thing 🙂