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A Play excerpt: Breakfast in Crazytown (where my 3 yr old takes me, daily :)

on April 28, 2014

The stage: My kitchen
The roles: Me, a 38yr old mother & Audrey, a 3 yr old wonder

Act 1: Breakfast time.

Audrey: “Mom, Moooooommmmmmyyyyyy, Momma, I wanna have yogurt, squeezy yogurt.”
Me: “Sure sweetie, here you go.” Handing her a squeezy yogurt. Smiling.
A: “Nooooo…..I didn’t say I wanted a squeezy yogurt, I want white yogurt! In a BOWL!” Throwing herself on the floor in utter dismay.
Me: “What?, You said squeezy…” Very confused.
A: “No I didn’t. I NEVER said squeezy because I don’t WANT squeezy, I don’t like that anymore.” Looks at me quizzically.
Me: Hmm…Is she delusional, short term memory affected…crazy??
Me: “Fine, here’s a bowl, squeeze it in here.”
A: “Oh, sure, yes, that’s exaaaacty what I wanted to do. Now I’m HAPPY.”
Me: “Oh good.” Is she’s bi-polar, schizophrenic…?
A: Squeezes the yogurt into a bowl. Requests a spoon.
Me: “Here you go, pink spoon.”
A: “No, not THAT spoon, a DIFFERENT spoon, my special spoon.”
Me: “You have a special spoon? Hmm…ok, go get your own spoon.”
A: “It’s NOT in here, its not in the drawer. I don’t WANT this yogurt then. I just want a SQUEEZY one! Back to the floor.
Me: “Oh Audrey. It must be hard to be three (and obviously crazy). Get what you want out of the fridge, that’s why it has the ‘kid drawer’.”
A: “FINE.” Gets a squeezy yogurt. “You open this.”
Me: “Are you sure? How about a please?”
A: “Yes, Mama, PLEASE open this.”
Me: Opens yogurt and hands it back.
A: ” MAMA, I didn’t WANT you to open this. I wanted to do it MYSELF. Now it’s ruined. You ruined it and I don’t want it.” Stomps off.
A: Looks over her shoulder. “AND I’m NOT Audrey, I’m Princess Elsa. Look at my magic snow powers.”
Me: Got it. Visions of grandeur & Multiple personality disorder.
Me: I better start saving money for mental health evaluations and counseling.

Oh, not for Audrey, for ME. Over yogurt?? Reaally.

Good Morning, guess I’ll be having crazy for breakfast along with a side of yogurt 😉

* I submitted this post to

Perfection Pending

2 responses to “A Play excerpt: Breakfast in Crazytown (where my 3 yr old takes me, daily :)

  1. haha! I love this. My post for tomorrow’s manic monday is very similar. In our house, there are 3 of these cuties sitting at the table with the same type of behavior and it makes me crazy. Thanks for linking up! I hope you’ll be back tomorrow ( or anytime this week) with another post. Off to tweet this out for you!

  2. Megan L. says:

    Thanks! I figure there’s not much else to do besides shake our heads and laugh when you’re in crazy company 😉 My other daughter is 5,so she’s better with decision making…the trade is it takes her a looooooong time to decide. Equally crazy making 🙂

Thoughts?? :)

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