I went for a 4.5 mile run this morning and I was actually excited to do it 🙂 I know it may not sound like much. Believe me, I can see that. But you see, I haven’t run much or even really wanted too since last Nov.2.
No nothing bad happened. Something great actually. Last Nov. 2nd I ran the ING New York City Marathon. Yes! I did. 26.2 miles of awesome! Yep, I’m a marathon mom. A huge accomplishment that I took months to prepare for. I ran long runs, tempo runs, hill repeats, maintenance runs. I ran in the rain and the cold. I ran alone and with my running buddies. I was inspired and inspiring! It was great! And New York was all I had imagined. The race was amazing with over 50,000 other people there who shared the same goal, to make it to the finish. I ran with a good friend of mine. We ran to raise money for charity and to just soak in the experience. We took our time. We talked to other runners, we really, really enjoyed the race. It wasn’t about speed for us once we got there. We wanted to savor every minute of the race. The whole city was there to cheer and support us. It was awe-inspiring! One of my best days ever!
After the race we were on a runners high. We ran around New York seeing shows, eating amazing food and soaking in all the city has to offer. My high lasted a few weeks and then I came crashing down hard. Like uninspired I don’t want to leave my couch hard! For the first time in a really long time (I had been running for about 4 yrs) I did not want to even look at a pair of running shoes. It was like losing a great friend and didn’t understand why I felt like I did.
That’s when my friend who I had run NY with discovered post marathon depression. A real thing. The excitement ends, the training is over, it was awesome and then. It’s just over. I read a great article on Livestrong.com (http://www.livestrong.com/article/211471-post-marathon-or-triathlon-depression/) about this type of depression. It all makes sense. I still didn’t feel like running but I knew now why my energy was low and my desire to run non-existent. Why I felt tired and was snapping at my husband and children. Couple this with my S.A.D. (Seasonal Affected Disorder) where the winter months are painful for me because of the lack of sunlight in the Pacific Northwest and the constant grayness of the sky. I was a mess. But at least I knew it wasn’t a permanent problem.
Now that I knew what I had and why I was able to start to heal. I began trying to get out and move. There were other ways to exercise that didn’t involve running. I restarted my healthy eating. It was easy to feel like I deserved those ‘treats’ since I had lost weight training for the marathon and had been burning so many calories. I began to think about other fitness goals I could maybe set for the future. And I stopped thinking about running or my lack of it. I just put it on hold.
So when my running buddy called me last week and asked if I would like to go for a run this weekend. Just an easy short run, I was surprised to find my answer to be yes, with a smile even. Yes, my S.A.D is gone since its spring and we do have sunlight again (YEA!!) but also I think I may be over my runners depression too. I am happy that todays run felt great. That my desire to get out there has returned and that my focus can again include the one physical activity that used to make me take the time out for myself and smile, me a bad mother runner. ❤