‘Mommyjacking’ or ‘Being other mothered’ are two sayings about something that is happening to moms these days. This phenomena in social media especially is getting out of hand. Think about on Facebook. A mom announces a hard time her child had at the dentist while getting a routine cleaning. Another mom chimes in that well, her child had to have a tooth pulled. Yep, the one up. You announce that you took you child into the doctor because of a cough. Another mom posts that her child had double ear infections, strep and two broken arms (ok, maybe not the broken arm part) but there it is again, the one up. A mom posts she just had a great time renting a cabin on the coast spending time with her family, and then another mom posts about their timeshare in Hawaii. A post about a child learning to read, sounding out words in an easy reader and then, the next mom comment about their child who is reading books three grade levels above. This is what ‘Mommyjacking’ or ‘Being other mothered’ looks like. The phenomena where a mom tries to one up another. I’ve seen it on my facebook threads and I may have inadvertently done it myself. We may not be doing it on purpose, we probably feel like by sharing our horrible dentist experience it will make the other mom feel better about her child’s experience. Or we are sharing our comment to show that going to the doctor could be worse. Or to point out that we also like to spend quality time with our family as well. But there is a nicer way to do it. Parenting is hard enough. We may not realize the effect these types of comments are being received by the original poster or others reading our comments.
Here are my new rules for meaningful commenting on facebook (anywhere really).
1. Will your comment add value or take away from someone elses post? If it won’t add any positive value, Don’t comment.
2. If you want to tell anything about your own experiences or your own children or anyone related to you, Do it on your own page!! Do not add a comment about yourself or your kids etc. in the comment section on someone elses page under their post!
3. Leave a supporting comment…for example: Show sympathy by saying, “Oh it’s so hard to see kids upset”. Or “Wow, great job reading”, or “Oh, being sick is no fun”, or “What a fun idea for a family vacation.” These types of responses are relevant, supportive, and most of all they are NOT ABOUT YOU!
That’s it. No need to compare parenting trials and successes, accomplishments and general awesomeness. All of our kids are amazing! But, mom’s…Let’s be amazing too, don’t try to be “better than”, or try to become the center of a post, or stand in someone elses limelight. Even by accident! You have your own facebook page for that. Or start a blog…then you can write whatever you want ;) If you’d like to read more about ‘mommyjacking’ head to http://neonfresh.com/mommyjacking/ for more.